feat: replace owner-npub with relay-owner-nsec for persistent operator identity

Replace the owner-npub configuration option with relay-owner-nsec to provide
a persistent cryptographic identity for the relay operator. This addresses
NIP-42 authentication requirements discovered during sync debugging.

Motivation:
- Some relays (e.g., relay.damus.io) require NIP-42 authentication for
  advanced features like NIP-77 negentropy sync
- Previously used random ephemeral keys per connection, providing no
  persistent identity
- Other relays can now recognize us by pubkey for reputation-based rate
  limiting
- Ensures consistency between NIP-11 pubkey and authentication key

Changes:
- Config: relay_owner_nsec with auto-load/generate from .relay-owner.nsec
- NIP-11: Pubkey derived from nsec instead of separate npub field
- Sync: RelayConnection now uses operator keys for NIP-42 auth
- Docs: Updated README, .env.example, and added .relay-owner.nsec to gitignore

Key Features:
- Auto-generates key on first run and saves to .relay-owner.nsec
- Loads existing key from file on subsequent runs
- Can override via CLI flag or environment variable
- Enables reputation building across relay network
- Future-ready for event signing and WoT calculations

Testing:
- 225/232 tests passing (7 pre-existing purgatory failures unrelated)
- Verified key generation, loading, and NIP-11 derivation
- Release build successful

Related: work/sync-debug-analysis.md, work/relay-owner-nsec-implementation.md

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